"But..where's Ted?" by Rick Cartey of Brave New World

On the Melodica tour in August, 2001 we managed to lose Ted Poley in Newcastle, but don't worry 'cause we found him again.

We had just driven up from Liverpool to play a show at Newcastle University and had found the hotel where we were staying (quite an achievement for us). Once we'd all checked in we all then drove into the city to find the venue. Except for Ted who had decided to stay behind at the hotel for a while longer and said he'd get a taxi to meet us in time for soundcheck.

When time for soundcheck came there was no sign of Ted until I got a call on my cellphone. It was Ted calling from a call box where the taxi had dropped him off. He couldn't find his way to where we were and wanted me to find him. He described his surroundings and off I went with a local girl who knew the area to try and find him.

A few calls later and still no sign of Ted we then realised the awful truth: the taxi had indeed dropped Ted off at the wrong university. Nobody told us there was more than one ! By now Ted had run out of coins for the call box and had to beg some money from someone to call me back. Plus it was now raining which didn't help.

Eventually we found a very cold, wet and pissed off Ted in his call box and by the time we arrived for soundcheck he was swearing that he'd never tour again. But now we can all sit back and laugh about it....Right Ted ?"